Tag Archives: corona

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I know I had mentioned this project of mine at least a week ago, although it could be longer, seeing as time has no meaning, but anyway, I actually completed a project of mine! From start to finish!

Thanks, Nick Offerman!

There was this old yellow dresser that almost literally fell apart when I tried to pull the top drawer out, and due to multiple reasons, I didn’t really want to get rid of it. It wasn’t the best quality, but it was sturdy enough that I could convert it into outdoor storage, so I decided I was going to make something I could be proud of.

Now, I didn’t take any before pictures because, well, I got excited, but I do have many from the middle and end of the process:

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I built that lovely little shelf all by my onesies!

Creating this little shelf was a big accomplishment for me. I manually inserted the screws, used wood glue – the whole nine yards. The measurements were a bit off – not my fault, by the way – but I think that actually ended up working to my advantage, aesthetically. That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.

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The shelf is going to be lined with the same vinyl wallpaper that I’m using on the top of this dresser. See below!
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Can I just say how much I love this wallpaper? There’s the tiniest bit of coral, which matches so well with the paint, but the rest of the colors are just so pretty.
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Seriously, this paper is gorgeous. Also, it was later in the day, which is why this looks pinker.

That little bar is from an old side table that I decided to … well, ditch isn’t the right word, but anyway, the bar is more decorative than anything else. I nearly tore my hair out trying to get it installed, but I was determined, even after I slammed a hammer on my left middle finger. Maybe it’s the plywood that the shelf was made out of (newbie here), but getting a nail or screw to go into it was A Process.

This little dresser, that my dad has told me would make Jimmy Buffett proud, is definitely a work in progress, and if would stop fucking raining, I’d be done with it already. Well, except for the paper towel holder I haven’t ordered yet that I’m going to attach to one of the sides and then a little basket thingy on the other side for small gardening tools. So I am going to use this post as a Part One to the dresser saga. Hopefully there are only two parts, but with how this weather is going, who the fuck knows.

Stay tuned, though! I’m really excited to see how this turns out.

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So, in our house, my sister and I have this little reading “nook*” by the doors leading out to the deck, an idea I had after moving the little dresser that had been there for years. It’s not much at the moment, but it’s a comfy seat to wait for the dogs to come back and beg to be let in or just sit and watch the little birds that like to hop around on the various surfaces that are out on the deck. Next to the big chair I placed there, a little lamp sits on a little table, looking rather innocent.

Except that the damn thing is haunted**.

It’s a tacky thing, too.

It turns itself on throughout the day, sometimes even when you yell at it. Today, I’ve turned it off five or six times, and … yep, it’s back on right the hell now.

I first thought my sister was full of shit, but then I witnessed it magically light up as I was working on a brick-by-brick puzzle. It’s less of a novelty now, and I’ve found myself irritably arguing with an inanimate object as I get out of my chair to turn the damn lamp off. But then again, coronavirus/social distancing has me going crazy, anyway.

* I say “nook,” but it’s more that one of the doors can’t be opened, so it’s really a glorified corner of the room.

** Like, I logically know that it’s probably a wiring issue. It’s one of those touch-activated lamps, so it’s reacting to something. I just prefer to think it’s the soul of the old lady who used to live here that’s just being contrary.

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I truly wish I were kidding, but I am not. I have essentially not watched anything other than episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on YouTube. It’s an effective way to keep your mind off of quarantine and people refusing to wear masks because it’s their body/choice and unemployment and the clementine buffoon in the Oval Office, but it does have some side effects:

  • I cannot watch any movies without riffing them. Sometimes, I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
  • I’m discovering that I don’t want to even watch good movies. Parasite has been on my to-watch list forever, and I just can’t. I don’t wanna riff it.

That being said, though, there are way worse things. I could be rewatching Tiger King and writing songs about how I once saw a tiger and a woman killed her husband or some shit, but instead, I’m yelling “parkour!” at my screen during Train to Busan.

If you have any interest in diving into the series (there are so many episodes, with two new seasons on Netflix in addition to the ones available elsewhere), and if you don’t feel like just watching whatever is on the PlutoTV channel dedicated to the show, I have some suggestions as to where you should start*, mainly because these are the ones I keep replaying time after time:

  1. Space Mutiny – Seriously, probably one of the best episodes they ever did. Paste Magazine agrees with me, too. From the names they call the lead actor to quip about presenting like a mandrill, it is probably my absolute favorite. They even did a re-riff on RiffTrax that I admittedly own and watch regularly on top of the original MST3K version.
  2. Mitchell – The movie is just great for riffing, but honestly, it’s the scenes involving Gypsy that make this one of my favorites. “They’re going to kill Joel!!!!”
  3. Night of the Blood Beast – I think it’s the sheer number of Steves in this movie that makes me laugh so hard. And the shrimp.
  4. Gamera vs Guiron – Think Godzilla as a turtle who also has mad gymnastics skills? This one only recently got into my favorites because of one particular scene that I could not stop laughing at – just google “hello thank you MST3K” – but the rest of the episode is just as hilarious, like when one of the bots says, “I’m just now realizing how weird this movie is.”
  5. Werewolf – Just watch it. I’m not even going to say anything else.
  6. Eegah! – I’m sitting here, trying to explain this episode, but let’s just say Jaws from the James Bond movie I don’t remember the name of plays a caveman that tries to be the Beast to the heroine’s Belle by kidnapping her father and then keeping them both in his cave. And there’s the guy who’s interested in the girl who randomly sings throughout the movie like he’s trying to be Bobby Darin or Paul Anka. Oh, and this is the episode where the commonly quoted, “WATCH FOR SNAKES!” originates!
  7. Pod People – I already have this year’s Halloween costume picked out, and it’s thanks to this movie. You’ll just have to wait until October to find out what it is. This movie is just so wretchedly bad, but so rife with crappiness for the cast to mock.

So there you go! I’m sure there are others who would point you in the direction of other episodes, like its arguably most famous episode, “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” or “Cave Dwellers,” both of which are Grade A in quality, but I feel like you appreciate those more after you’ve seen other episodes. I don’t really have a preference for any of the hosts – Joel, Mike, and Jonah were all great but different in what they brought to the show – but I know of plenty of people who fight over who is the best host. So how about you head to the Satellite of Love and make your own opinion there?

Art Credit: IFC

* If you have Netflix, I’d recommend Cry Wilderness and Starcrash, too – the new host Jonah and bot voice actors, Hampton Yount and Baron Vaughn, do such a great job in these two. All of the ones I listed are available for free on YouTube.

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So I didn’t do the Friends challenge (obviously), and I’ve spent the last month or so working from home and adjusting to life in the time of corona. I’ve had the worst cough since February (seriously, it’s basically a permanent part of my life now, despite being on two inhalers and a prescription nasal spray), got ghosted by a guy I’ve known since middle school (see below), moved me and my cats twice, found I have a love of gardening, and my sister’s dog has adopted me.

It’s been … weird.

I will say this: I am very thankful that I’m in the position I’m in: I have a roof over my head, a job that allows me to work from home, and friends and family that seem to be handling this odd apocalyptic situation better than most. I haven’t even had to yell at one of them for sharing that ridiculous Plandemic video. #blessed And I haven’t even really had to adjust my life that much. I am most definitely an extrovert, but I have a lot of outlets and experience keeping myself entertained. I was never one to go out that much, even in college, although I will admit I miss being able to go grab a beer with a friend or head to an outdoor concert. This isn’t really helping my dating life that much, but hey, at least I dodged a bullet with the last guy I was seeing for a couple of months: he ended up being this “coronavirus is a hoax and I’m awake to so many things everyone else isn’t because I’m A Smart” type of person.

Anyway, I think I’ve basically gotten set up with how life is currently, so I’m going to go ahead and start working on the Friends challenge for June (which how in the hell is it already almost the middle of this cursed year) and I’m going to try and start posting about the little projects I’m doing around the house. Like tomorrow, I’m going to sand down a shitty dresser and prime it, maybe even paint the damn thing (or else that is just for later on in the week), and today, I planted marigolds in the front yard and put up a border around them with bricks! I even started to get this Sketchbox subscription, so I’m really looking forward to using my new art supplies (this month was watercolor, which yay!). Basically, this blog is now my Corona Journal, so … be prepared.