Before I do anything else, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY. I love you dearly and hope today is as wonderful as you are.
And now for the challenge: I’m just going to jump right into this because I am running super behind on like … everything in my life right now. Luckily for me, though, my favorite moment from the first “Balance” arc springs right into my mind.
At the very end of the arc, the Tres Horny Boys find themselves at the bottom of a well, having survived the blast of flames that erupted out of Gundren Rockseeker after he placed the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet on his hand. Fan-favorite Killian, the orc who had tried to kill the main dudes earlier in the arc is literally under them, knocked unconscious, and for just a minute, no one is really sure what to do.
I couldn’t find an animatic, so here’s the transcript:
GRIFFIN: Um. So that, ugh, that just happened. You look over at Killian. She actually is unconscious at the bottom of the well. You see that she hit her head as she was falling, even though she was falling fairly slowly [she had cast feather fall from her magic feather duster]. Maybe it was the —
CLINT: Was there water in the well?
GRIFFIN: No, it’s an empty well. Suddenly, you think maybe the three of you landing on top of her probably added to her unconscious state.
JUSTIN: Well, it was her dumb idea.
GRIFFIN: That is true. That was on her.
JUSTIN: And so are we. [Clint laughs] Thank you, Dad.
GRIFFIN: That was pretty good.
TRAVIS: So now we’re just, like, at the bottom of a well, right?
TRAVIS: Cool. Good look.
TAAKO (JUSTIN): Well, this is going good!
MERLE (CLINT): We really suck at this so far.
MAGNUS (TRAVIS): You know, in retrospect, I regret helping that Kurtze kid?
TAAKO: I wish we’d killed Kurtze. I was just thinking!
MAGNUS: I wish we’d killed Kurtze, too!
TAAKO: I wish we’d killed Kurtze.
MAGNUS: But you know what? A lot of woulda-coulda-shoulda, you know what I mean?
TAAKO: That’s true. Wish in one hand, spit in the other.
MAGNUS: Yeah, hindsight, 20/20 and all that.
TAAKO: Wish in a hand and spit on it, right? Classic.
MAGNUS: I say you just, you keep moving forward.
TAAKO: (beat) So … can anybody levitate or anything?
MAGNUS: I think we just live at the bottom of this well now.
Sure, it’s not as iconic as Taako’s “ABRACA-FUCK YOU!” and it’s not even the funniest thing throughout “Here There Be Gerblins,” but it always stuck with me. And when I saw the most recently made trailer for the series, it popped up and I beamed with joy because I was so damn happy that it was included. Which reminds me! If you haven’t watched the trailer, here you go!
Art Credit: Maximum Fun