I’m not sure what the impetus was for my brain to switch gears, but it happened: I am truly starting to live my life. It kinda sucks that it took nearly forty years to realize what living actually meant to me, not just what was expected of me, but I’m happy that I at least reached that point, you know? I’ve been living under societal-approved aspirations instead of listening to what my heart and soul yearn for, that still, small voice that kept telling me that I was unhappy … unfulfilled … dissatisfied. Then I took out my bucket list; it consisted of things that I was supposed to want, like getting married again or having a kid or buying a home with my spouse. In all honesty, it was a little sad. It was peppered with a few items that were intriguing to me – e.g., visiting an ashram – but for the most part, the list was uninspiring.
So I’m making a new one!
I already have a few bucket list items that are in the process of being accomplished – I’m going to Bonnaroo this year, and I’ll be traveling to Canada in October to see the Northern Lights in person – but there’s so many more things that I want to do before I die that have nothing to do with becoming a wife and mother. If I’m meant to be either, they will fit into the life that I create for myself, and I think I’ll be a happier person for it. Actually, scratch that; I know that I will be.
- get a full sleeve completed on my left arm
- visit an ashram
- run a 10K
- have a gallery showing of my art
- publish a book
- purchase an original painting
- visit all 50 states
- attend the Olympics
- learn to knit
- work for Doctors Without Borders
This list will get longer as I think more deeply on the type of person I want to become, but you know what? I think this is a good start.
a little more juju 