a little more juju

I’ve kind of always wanted a farm. It was a utopian idea initially, one that wasn’t really based on facts; instead, it was more focused on how cute it would be to own goats and maybe some chickens, where I could let them run free and they’d give me things like milk and eggs. Not much thought was put into the logistics of such a venture … straw to line my chicken coop, like, costs money? I have to wake up early to feed and water all these little fuckers before heading into work?? I have to clean up after them???

I have since reconciled my poorly conceived expectations with the reality of the situation: animals are stinky and poop in their own water supply, so I have the responsibility of maintaining them.

Sigh.

Now, my lot is way too small to have even a single goat, but I ended up buying some guinea chicks from my local feed store (fuck Tractor Supply). They are wildly independent, spunky birds that have gotten to the point where they tolerate my presence, but that’s primarily because I’ve gotten them to relate me with getting their nummy mealworm treats. Just this past weekend, I went ahead and put them in their coop, which I built by hand (I don’t have a drill at the moment, so I was using a screwdriver, which took forever), and they’ve really taken to it, despite the fact that it gets kind of cold at night (don’t worry, I have a warmer inside the coop) and that the dogs continue to stalk them creepily through the chicken wire fence. But! I have officially started my farm!

It’ll still be a while before I’ll be able to gather eggs – probably springtime is my bet – but in the meantime, I’m laying out what and where I’m going to plant some crops. The backyard isn’t necessarily the best place to do so, seeing as it doesn’t get a ton of sun due to the tree canopy that covers the tiny creek back there, so the front yard is probably my best option. The previous owners had a flower garden there, complete with lilies, but I’m going a different direction: I’m thinking a mixture of flowers and foodstuffs … something that’s referred to as companion gardening. Because I don’t want to use pesticides, I’m hoping that this method will prevent little creepy crawlies from being able to harm my garden but will encourage the beneficial ones to hang around. I’m even kind of hoping that I can register my front yard as being a wildlife sanctuary.

But that’s far into the future. For now, I’m going to make sure I don’t get too big for my britches, overestimating my ability to manage this whole thing. I’m even asking my mom and dad for any advice on maintaining a (small but mighty) homestead, and hell, they may come and help me plant, if I ask nicely.

Has anyone reading this ever taken this venture before? If so, I am all ears for any tips and/or tricks you can provide! Especially on how to make your dogs less obsessed with the tiny guinea hens in your backyard.